I LOVE U, I LOVE U, I LOVE U :'(

I feel like my life is a mess this week. No. Since yesterday. I really don't know why I still love him. Maybe this is the real love, when I really don't know why I love him. And the only thing I know is I just wanna be with him. I don't want anyone else. I don't want him to be with someone else. I don't want to leave him. And I'm really scared to lose him. 1 year and 5 months is a long time, and I can't just lose him only for a stupid mistake. God, I can't even say a thing. I feel so.. so stupid! I feel like my happiness has disappeared. I'm not gonna lose him once again, I can't, and I won't hopefully :(